You Won't Like Me When I'm Angry
Yesterday, it was announced that Adrian Clayborn pleaded guilty to an altercation with a taxi cab driver back in March 2009 and it got me thinking, are all taxi cab drivers in Iowa City hired to piss off our athletes? Why else would you explain the recent history of Hawkeye players punching and cursing these damned fools out? I refuse to blame our athletes (well that isn’t completely true, I blamed Anthony Tucker pretty hard) but I do think these drivers have a hidden agenda when they are buzzing around Iowa City and starring at the sorority girls who are wearing skirts in 18 degree weather.
The charge was for assault, causing bodily injury. Clayborn apparently punched the cab driver in the face (god I wish I could have seen that). I just have a hard time believing that this cab driver did nothing to set Clayborn off. I mean we are talking about Adrian Clayborn here. You know, the guy that signed autographs with his mother at his side at Carver Hawkeye Arena last month. The guy that looks like a cuddly version of Predator. Sure he’s a monster on the field, but this guy wouldn’t hurt a fly unless it had a ball in its hands and played for Penn State.
Reportedly, “Clayborn, 21, was tied up in traffic on Jan. 18, 2009, at S. Johnson and Bowery streets when a cab driver honked at him. Police said Clayborn got out of his car, walked over to the driver and punched him in the face through the driver’s side window”
Either Adrian thought it was the father of his lovely stalker, or I’m not getting the full story here. The guy only honked at Adrian? Are you sure the cab driver wasn’t Jake Christensen in a Northwestern jersey? Because god knows I’d get out of my car in the middle of traffic to offer him a nice hello.
It goes on to say, “Police said a friend had to physically restrain Clayborn and pull him back to the car.”
Whoever this friend is, Kirk needs to get him on the offensive line and quick.
All I know is Yellow Cab and all the other taxi companies in Iowa City need to start screening their drivers, because I have a suspicious feeling that some of these guys are sent here by opposing schools to get our players kicked off of their teams. Tod Kowalczyk, coach of Wisconsin-Green Bay, probably sent the driver Anthony Tucker fought down here because Tucker chose Lickliter over him. There is a conspiracy going on with Iowa City’s taxi cab drivers and I’m going to get to the bottom of it.
Did anyone see this fight? If you did please leave a comment below.